“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
This used to be a harmless question our grandma, aunt or family friend would ask us. For me, it was a question I used to be so excited to answer.
“Princess! Astronaut! Doctor!” It felt like someone was noticing that I was getting older and had potential. But now, the question is daunting, annoying and one I do not yet have the answer to. It is a question I ask myself every day; it is something I try to plan for with to-do lists and online research.
Why is there so much pressure for us as teenagers to know what we want to do or who we want to be?
As teenagers, we barely know who we are. These are the years where we try to find ourselves, discovering who we are while we live life and gain experience in different things. Why are we expected to make decisions that define us at such a young age?
The pressure put on us as teenagers to define ourselves and plan our futures is undeniable. According to studies done at the University of Indiana, 56% of American teens feel pressured to have their entire future mapped out. It is widely encouraged online, pushed on us by our schools and our parents and seared into our brains from all angles. Making decisions, planning for anything, is a constant alarm going off in our brains.
Having a fear of the future and of the unknown is something that I have always wrestled with. Pressure to “plan for my future,” or to “be the best I can be” in every aspect of my life is something I have always felt. Choosing a college as soon as possible; creating an entire life plan in my brain (or even on paper) that I know will not be how things play out, because things rarely ever go as planned. I know I am not the only person that struggles with this. I want to know when to let go of the reins and just let life pan out the way it is meant to instead of trying to manipulate every little detail into my own hands.
It is truly okay to not have a plan, list or book for everything. Life is such a whirlwind and everything is so unknown that stressing out over all things “future” is worthless and will only cause more issues in life.
I want everyone to know this as well. It is completely and totally acceptable to not be prepared for absolutely everything, or to not have it all planned out.
According to the U.S. Department of Education, approximately 30% to 80% of college students end up changing their major at least once. We are allowed to change our minds or not know it all. Despite what the world is pushing on you or what your family is yelling at you to figure out, it will be okay. We are young. We are going to make mistakes and learn from them. We are going to not know what to do in a situation down the line, and possibly even make the wrong decisions. We are going to change our minds, and not know exactly who we are or who we want to be. It is a part of life to not know anything and everything all at once. Making memories, having learning experiences and developing resistance is what matters the most in our teenage and high school years.
Being unprepared is still a threat, though. You should not sit idle and plan for nothing, but also do not let it take over every waking hour of your life.
Do not let the voice in your head telling you that “everything is happening now” get to you. Keep that dream to be a princess astronaut M.D. if you want. Take a breath, take it slow and let life happen.
