Everywhere you look, it’s dark. It’s so quiet you can hear your own heartbeat. 

One…

Two…

Three… 

Beats pass and you’re running out of air. But when you don’t even know which way is up, so how can you try to surface? You feel your chest tightening and the water feels heavier, and heavier, and heavier…

Until the shrill sound of your alarm jolts you awake. And you remember, you are not drowning, you just have work later tonight, a presentation third period, a club interest meeting after school and… something else you don’t have time to remember because the bus leaves in 10 minutes. 

So, effectively, you are drowning. And so is your best friend, whose mom just kicked her out of the house, and so is the guy who sits next to you in calculus, who does ACT prep on the bus so he can take care of his siblings when he gets home, and so am I, because this article was supposed to be done a week ago. 

This is where it all starts. One too many assignments, or one extra hurtful argument with your dad, one more judgmental comment from someone who you thought was your friend or even… one more article due at the end of the week… When you feel like you cannot keep your head above the water, what do you do? And furthermore, how can we keep our friends from drowning, too?

This topic is more important than ever considering the apparent mental health crisis in Seminole County. In the past month, we have lost three students to suicide, all within the same 36 hour window. That is three students too many, and reducing the stigma surrounding conversations about mental health is the first step in making sure students feel safe asking for help.

The Beginning

The start of a mental health spiral often sneaks by undetected. Focused on responsibilities and obligations, most people tend to cast the warning signs aside even when they do recognize them. We tell ourselves, “That’s a tomorrow problem,” or “If I can just push past this, I’ll finally be able to relax.”

Feeling chronically overwhelmed is so common in adolescents that if—somehow—you have not experienced it, you certainly know somebody else who has. 

In fact, a 2024 study from Transforming Education found that up to 75% of high school students reported feeling “constant stress over homework.” And that number does not account for the numerous other stressors that teens struggle with on a daily basis.

Ashley* noted that the decline in her mental health began suddenly. When she was 13, she began struggling with disordered eating, anxiety and depression. 

“Nothing in specific really made it get bad,” Ashley* said. “I just felt [awful].”

On the other hand, John* experienced some of the lowest points of his mental health after a messy breakup from a toxic relationship. According to Imagine by Northpoint, social complications are another leading contributor to chronic stress in adolescents. 

“After my ex and I broke up, I just blocked her and never spoke to her again,” John* said. “I felt worthless.”

Various factors can lead to students feeling overwhelmed, and it is more serious than unpleasant feelings, because it marks the start of many people’s struggles with mental health. 

Emotional symptoms of being overwhelmed include feeling overloaded, anxious, irritable, out of control and/or hopeless. This state of mind can manifest physically as headaches, difficulty sleeping, muscle tension or even heart palpitations. 

This is not to say that the minute somebody feels overwhelmed because they have two tests back-to-back, they are suddenly going to start struggling with depression and anxiety, but it does mean that if not managed properly, over time, it can amount to something much more dangerous.

“I would never wish [how I felt at my lowest] upon anybody,” Jane* said. “I felt so unmotivated; I couldn’t do anything.”

The Crash

After spending long enough, the stress begins to pile up, and without the proper tools, many students find themselves left to their own devices to manage what now may have amounted to depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions that result from excessive stress on one’s nervous system. 

So, now, what started as staying up late to finish reading a couple of chapters of “The Great Gatsby” has devolved into running solely on energy drinks and Pop Tarts, trying to keep up a “C” in English. 

What was once one or two APs in your favorite subjects is now five that you are hardly even completing work for.

What initially was hitting your friend’s vape once in a while has snowballed into hotboxing empty bathroom stalls during passing periods and taking a hit before every big test.

You tell yourself you can quit, that you could sleep if you really wanted to, that you could pass AP Physics even without your GPT-5 subscription.

But at the end of the day, when you are on your third Academic Honor Code Violation, the Geek Bar is dead and you are living paycheck-to-paycheck, counting down the days until your next Alani fix, you have nobody to face but yourself. This is the lowest point for most students, and many turn to escapism and numbing their emotions.

For example, academically inclined students may numb difficult emotions by staying busy, stacking their schedule with advanced classes and add on endless extracurriculars. And though it appears impressive from the outside, this is also an example of a maladaptive coping mechanism. 

When Jane* was struggling with depression, she coped by taking on more classes and extracurriculars. But the stress made it so that she could not enjoy the things she loved the most.

“Part of the reason why I took on a lot of work was [to avoid my emotions],” Jane* said. “My schoolwork helps take my mind off of everything in the moment, but it causes more stress anyway.” 

This strategy causes more problems than solutions. In the short term, you may have the most impressive college application in the school, but long term, you risk missing out on actively enjoying the life you are working so hard to create for yourself. 

“I lost interest in doing things that I normally wanted to do,” Jane* said. “For example, playing my instruments used to be something I [really enjoyed], but then it started to become more like a chore instead.”

When students numb themselves instead of facing their mental health head-on, they not only mute the difficult emotions but also the welcome ones. It is impossible to fully experience the joys of the same life you are trying to escape.

“It was like a period of derealization,” Jane* said. “I felt like I was focusing in and out of reality constantly and I was never really fully present anywhere.”

Derealization is the feeling that “people and your surroundings are not real” (via the Mayo Clinic). Many compare the condition to feeling like their life is a movie or dream. The emotional disconnect can be alarming, but symptoms of derealization are extremely common and many people experience them to some extent. 

Staying busy is not the only method students use to escape. Other forms of escapism are just as prevalent and sometimes even more dangerous. 

On what is commonly regarded as the opposite end of the social spectrum are students who misuse substances to cope. And though misusing substances and being a high-achieving student are not necessarily mutually exclusive, there is a correlation between teens with substance use disorders and poor school performance. 

In 2020, a study reported that nearly 10 million adolescents in the United States had a substance use disorder (the misuse of drugs such as alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, etc.). This makes sense considering that 37-80% of teenagers with a SUD “have at least one other mental disorder,” showing the prevalence of the coping mechanism among young people. 

“I fell more into drugs after that [experience with my ex] because I was so hurt,” John* said. “I used to be really big into [Xanax], Oxycodone, MDMA. The addiction wasn’t logical, it was just a chain.”

And although experiences with high-risk drugs may be foreign to most students, the core of it, the desire to escape, is something most teens can relate to. 

Treatment

Knowing that escapism is not the answer takes everyone back to square one: feeling overwhelmed.

When you feel like you can no longer keep your head above the water, what do you do?

There is only one option, and it is confronting the very thing that seems to be pushing you farther, and farther down the spiral.

“I [was at] my lowest probably for like a year and a half to two years, and getting a therapist helped me get out of it,” Jane* said. 

Though professional help is often the most effective, it may not be accessible to everybody and it can be scary to reach out to your doctor or healthcare provider as soon as you notice the signs. 

So, getting help does not necessarily mean sharing one’s deepest darkest secrets at their next physical, or rushing for a diagnosis. Instead, people can start by simply talking to a friend or someone else they trust. 

There’s science behind the smile on your friend’s face when you ask him if he wants to walk to the bus loop with you, and there is a reason why venting to your best friend on the phone feels almost cathartic. 

The American Psychology Association reports that “stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity” and also that “even minimal social interactions can be powerful.” 

Though opening up to those closest to you is easier said than done. At her lowest, Jane* struggled with depression and self-harm, two of the most common mental health complications for teens, but she hesitated to share her struggles. 

 A study from Charlie Health reported that around 15% of adolescents from ages 12-17 have reported experiencing a major depression episode, and approximately 17% of teens reported engaging in “self-harm at least once” according to Children’s Hospital Colorado. 

“What I should’ve done at my lowest is asked for help [sooner], but I was very afraid,” Jane* said. “I was very afraid of being shamed for it.”

Though the stigma surrounding mental health has become less prevalent over time, still only 55% of US adolescents “reported discussing their mental and emotional health with a health care professional.” This seems like a lot, but when compared to the 20% who reported attending mental health therapy and the 16% who reported taking prescription medication– the gaps in care become apparent (via the CDC).

Ashley* improved her mental wellbeing through adhering to an extensive treatment plan, which ranged from inpatient therapy (hospitalization) to later outpatient (a structured partial hospitalization program) and supplemental counselling, meetings with psychiatrists and dietitians. 

“I got treatment because I ended up telling my mom, because I was in a cycle of anorexia and [I felt like] ‘I can’t get out of [this],” Ashley* said. “I was in rehab for two months and two weeks, then I started PHP [a Partial Hospitalization Program].”

Now, she occasionally experiences rough patches and particularly struggles with derealization due to stress but is still in a better mental state than she was before she started treatment. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever go back to my lowest, I think I’m [okay] now,” Ashley* said. 

Jane* faced a similar experience, and found that therapy was the most helpful thing she did to improve her mental health. 

“[It helped] with the self-harm aspect of [my depression], and [I] also have a good support group,” Jane* said. 

Social Support

Supporting a friend who is struggling can be daunting and isolating. Even if you are not the one struggling, the responsibility many feel to look after those closest to us can make it difficult to reach out from the outside, too. Many hesitate to reach out due to fears of saying the wrong thing and making matters worse.  

But often, it is the little things that mean the most to those in a dark place. 

“Just the occasional like ‘I’m glad you’re here’ [would’ve been helpful], because there were times where I wasn’t sure if I should still be [here],” Jane* said.

When supporting a struggling loved one, perfection is not the goal. After a friend opens up and shares something heavy, it can be difficult to find the right words. But just being present with them, even if you cannot empathize, can still be extremely helpful. 

“[My lowest] was lonely as […],” John* said. “I mean I felt like I didn’t have anybody and I was just in it by myself. I almost killed myself because I was just depressed.” 

According to a study by the National Library of Medicine, individuals struggling with loneliness are at an “elevated risk of suicidal [behavior],” further illustrating that being there for those who are going through hard times is crucial. 

In addition to being present with your loved ones, asking how you can help is one of the most effective tools in supporting a friend in need. From the outside, we may not always know what someone else needs to feel supported, and everybody is different, so asking is often the best course of action. 

For example, some people may feel comforted by having their friends just listen, and others may prefer advice, consolation or even sharing a similar experience. A simple “what do you need right now?” can go a long way. 

“[I feel most supported] when [my friends] relate by bringing up a past experience that’s similar,” John* said. “Or when they explain their perspective, and how they would execute [a solution].”

These strategies are helpful once someone has opened up to you, but it is also important to know the signs that somebody you know is going through a hard time and how to help them in that situation. 

There are numerous signs that someone may be struggling emotionally. For example, they may isolate themselves, eat more/less than usual, neglect their hygiene, stop participating in activities they used to enjoy or appear more sad and distressed. This is by no means a comprehensive list, and there are some different warning signs for suicidal behavior. 

It is important to note that these warning signs are not always clear-cut, and that they often progress gradually, making it difficult for others to notice. If you notice these signs in someone you care about, it is better to try and support your friend rather than diagnose them, as these indicators can apply to a variety of different conditions. 

No matter who you are or what your situation is, help is available in times of crisis. Educating yourself on mental health and keeping an open mind are both crucial to decreasing the stigma surrounding mental health and supporting yourself and those around you. That way, you’re not scared to throw out a lifesaver, and you know which way is up when you feel the waves come crashing down. 

“You don’t need to think about what’s going to happen in the future,” Jane* said. “It’s hard. But you [will] get through it, just take it one day [at a time].”

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or substance misuse, visit 988lifeline.org. In times of immediate crisis, call 911. 

*Names changed for anonymity