Most kids meet their parents in the bright fluorescent lights of a hospital. Senior Lila Powell met hers in an airport.

“My birth mother lived in the mountains in Guatemala,” Powell said. “I was put in a foster family after I was born, and I stayed there with them for nine months [until] I was picked up by my parents.”

While Powell was too young to remember it, her mom, Kate, remembers the moment like yesterday. 

“It was amazing. She was so beautiful and adorable, and she lit up,” Kate said. “We cried [because] we were so excited after waiting nine months, and her foster parents were also crying…it was happy, but also a little bit sad for them to have to say goodbye.”

Over 50,000 kids are adopted each year. As a part of the 5 million adoptees living in the US, Powell is not alone, even at Hagerty. 

Meeting the parents

Born in Ethiopia, sophomore Rediat Eshleman was adopted when she was 15 months old. Her parents came as part of an adoption group, so she was not the only one in her village to move to the US. In the nine years that Eshleman lived in Pennsylvania, she was able to keep in touch with the other kids from her village through occasional dinners with those nearby.

“My mom wanted me to [keep in touch] with my roots…I used to go to these dinners where we ate with all the people that we were adopted with,” Eshleman said. “It was fun, and I look at the photos a lot.”

Senior Madison Lum met her adopted dad as an infant after her biological mom moved from Colombia to Florida. While she was still under legal custody of her biological mom for some time, Lum was raised by her dad as her mom battled psychosis and bipolar disorder. 

“My dad helped me understand what it means to treat someone right and to be a good person. I really love my dad, and I’m very grateful that he was a good dad to me…he took me in when no one else did,” Lum said. 

Junior Michael Hickey was adopted at six weeks old alongside his older brother. The two were originally from Staten Island but came down to Florida with their adopted parents. 

“[The adoption agency] called my mom, saying, ‘There’s another kid.’ When my parents found out [about me],  they didn’t want to separate brothers, so they took me in,” Hickey said.

Not so fast

Adoption is not a straightforward process. Potential parents must first find an adoption agency in their area, where they fill out paperwork and get matched with a child. Background checks and interviews are also required, a process that can take months up to a few years.

Peter Amico, a volunteer at Orlando Foster Care, notes that the complicated process can be disheartening for many families. A foster parent himself, Amico has faced multiple challenges while trying to adopt. On one occasion, a judge refused to grant Amico and his wife custody, instead choosing to move the child to a distant relative. 

“It’s challenging, for sure…it’s a lot of work, a lot of agony [if] things fall through,” Amico said. “[But] then one day you go to court and you finalize the adoption, and it’s like, ‘Oh, that’s all done. This is our kid now.’ That’s a cool moment, always sort of surreal.”

Adopting internationally adds another layer of complexity to the process, with parents having to navigate not one but two countries’ different regulations and bureaucracies. Before formally adopting Powell, Kate and her husband had to fly to Guatemala to meet with a local judge and get Powell’s travel documents sorted out. The couple ran into difficulties as the adoption program Powell was part of had begun shutting down. 

“It was nerve wracking because we weren’t sure if we were going to be able to bring her home…but thankfully, we were,” Kate said. “From the time that we got her picture [to] nine months later, we just [thought] about her the whole time we were waiting.”

Settling in 

Beyond the formal process of adoption, helping kids settle into their new homes is an entirely different process. Immediately after bringing Powell home, Kate took two months off of work to help her adjust quickly. 

“We wanted to build that bond…so that they would learn, ‘Oh, I’m Mom, he’s Dad, we’re going to be the people who are going to give you everything you need,’” Kate said. “Eventually we did go back to work, but they were in a home daycare with a wonderful woman very close to my work, so that was good for them.”

In the first months of living with her parents, Powell also had to get used to her new name. Originally named Maria, her parents changed her name to Lila after a character in a show. 

“She thinks it’s funny,” Kate said. “I think sometimes she might have wished we hadn’t, back when she was younger, but I asked her and she [told] no, that’s who I am; I am Lila.”

For Amico, transitioning has looked different for each of his four adopted kids, especially since he volunteers as a temporary foster parent, where matches are not always permanent if biological parents are willing and able to provide a safe home environment after some time.

“The initial days are fairly chaotic…you have to get them enrolled in school, go see a doctor, get insurance cards, all of those things,” Amico said. “[Part of it] is just helping the kids understand where they came from, which is so important for their identity and figuring out who they are.”

Finding out

Although the differences between Lum and her adopted dad seem obvious—she is Colombian while he is Chinese—growing up, she never quite understood the difference. She only knew him as her dad.

“I was always confused when I was a little girl because I don’t look Asian, but I have the same nose as him…I just found out from my mom when she finally told me the truth,” Lum said. “I didn’t understand…she didn’t tell me anything else, except I was adopted and my [biological] dad’s name.”

While Lum’s realization was jarring, Eshleman had always guessed she was adopted.

“It’s kind of obvious [since] I’m a whole different race…whenever I was little, my parents used to call me their little chocolate cupcake,” she said. “That’s just my family. To me, that’s just been my family for my whole life.”

On the other hand, Hickey’s parents used humor to tell him the news.

“My parents used to tell me that I knocked on the door, brought a briefcase and asked to come in,” Hickey said. “Honestly, I was so young that it didn’t really mean much to me.”

From the beginning, Kate wanted her kids to know where they came from. However, Lila found out a little unconventionally.

“My aunt told me [when] I was really little…I guess I was asking something, and she told me. My mom was not happy about that, but I didn’t really mind,” Powell said.

While the two can look back on the moment now and laugh, there were many questions that came with the revelation.

“They had questions, and as they got older, we could tell them more information [like] ‘Your birth mom did what she thought was best for you, which was a really hard decision but we lucked out…we chose you and we love you and we’re so thankful that you are our child,’” Kate said. 

Across the pond

Most of these students have not been to their birth country since they were adopted. Travel costs, time constraints and other issues get in the way of visiting now. However, Eshleman has a unique way to connect back to her roots: a video filmed by her biological family. In the video, her birth mom filmed a day in their lives, explaining to a then-infant Eshleman how they farmed and made a living.

“It’s just cool because I know a lot of people don’t get that. I’m lucky that I actually know stuff about my [biological] parents,” Eshleman said. “[Watching] the video is crazy to me…it’s like, ‘Wow, my house, my life would be a lot different if I lived in Africa.’ I’ve always wanted to go back for my 18th birthday.”

For Hickey, it is not so much his birthplace but his biological family that piques his curiosity. With two biological sisters adopted into other families, he plans to explore his family background more when he is older. 

“I kind of want to meet [my sisters], to know what they look like and stuff. I also want to know what the people who gave birth to me look like,  if they’re [even] still alive, honestly,” Hickey said.

Odd one out

Being adopted does not come without its challenges. Although she was adopted young, Lum still struggled with feeling abandoned by her birth parents.

Transracial adoption introduces a new set of difficulties, including racism from adoptive family members and struggles with cultural identity. While Eshleman never faced any direct discrimination, the lack of diversity in her family gatherings was enough to sometimes isolate her mentally.

“I don’t know how to explain the feeling,” Eshleman said. “At the family gatherings, I can tell I’m definitely different…[but] these people have treated me like they’re my family, and they are.”

Blending biological and adopted kids poses another issue. With two biological kids, Amico put an emphasis on preparing them for their adopted siblings’ arrival long before the paperwork was finalized. By walking them through the process and taking the time to answer their questions, Amico and his wife were able to smooth out the transition. 

“My biological kids and my adopted kids just have different things they need, so instead of trying to treat them all the same, I try to treat them all according to what they need, each kid being unique,” Amico said. 

Family traditions

Over the years, each family has settled into their own unique routine and dynamic. 

From camping in the Florida Keys to riding golf carts in Disney World, the Powell family took frequent trips when their kids were little. These trips helped bond the family with more than blood. 

“We’re always outside, in the yard, in the pool, going to the parks, so much so that Lila’s friends teased her because she was never inside playing video games,” Kate said. “They’re older now, so we don’t do those things as much anymore, but we do different things now…lots of good memories.”

For Lum, it is the little things that mean the most. 

“One memory I have with my dad is when we were on the swings in my backyard, and I would pretend to kick him, and then he’d [fall down] and pretend to be hurt,” Lum said. 

Lum also makes an effort to participate in her dad’s Chinese culture, joining Dragon Boat Festivals, Chinese New Year celebrations and her dad’s Chinese church. Next year, she is planning to visit Taiwan with him.

“When I was younger, people would be more racist…they would make [Asian] eyes at me. Ever since then, I’ve just been very adamant on standing up for racism. I [just] feel like everyone should embrace other people’s culture,” Lum said. 

Traditions are not the only things the kids adopt. Hickey notes that he acts a lot like his adopted parents. 

“I feel like I have a lot of my dad’s traits, and my mom’s as well. I don’t think it matters who gave birth to you…it’s more of how you’re raised,” Hickey said.

Powell has taken career inspiration from her parents, who work in the public service field as a teacher and firefighter. After high school, she plans on becoming a pediatrician. 

“[Being adopted] has definitely given me more opportunities than I would have [gotten] in Guatemala,” Powell said. “I probably would not have been in a school like this, going to college and pursuing a career like that…I was adopted into a very loving family, and whatever happens, I’m blessed.”