Twin Peeves

The crazed excitement people display when they find out I am a twin is close to madness. Immediately following this realization are hundreds of questions about how me and my sister, Savannah function. Usually, I am perfectly fine with the various questions and statements made by wide eyed inquirers. However, there is one question I absolutely cannot handle. No matter how many times I try to avoid it, it is always one of the first questions on the list. “Which one’s the evil twin?”

I’m sorry, but I am pretty sure I would know if either me or my sister were evil. People are unable to grasp the concept of both of us being equal in character. Inquirers always want the juicy info about our characteristics. If Savannah shoots me a glare or so much as nudges me, she instantly gets pegged as the “evil twin.”

Frankly, this is an overused and completely untrue stereotype. Peoples’ minds have been tainted with the thrilling tales of twins in films like The Prestige or The Man in the Iron Mask. For some reason, people just cannot handle the concept of a pair of twins being completely sane. I for one, can assure both myself and Savannah that I have not and will never want to kill her. If we cannot even get up the courage to switch places, how would someone expect one of us to practice world domination or ruin the other ones life? It just is not logical.

To add more discomfort to the question, people always answer it for us. Unfortunately for Savannah, they always peg her as the “evil twin.” Savannah successfully mastered the forced smile and laugh years ago, however when we get home, the smile disappears and her laugh turns into yells of frustration. “Do I look particularly evil to you?” she will always ask. Of course, the answer is no. It still blows my mind why she always receives this unfortunate title. It never crosses peoples’ minds that maybe being called “evil” is slightly on the offensive side.

For some reason, twins are the only sibling pair who receive this ridiculous question. No one ever asks a pair of brothers whether the older one is evil. Twins are  subjected to morbid story and film plotlines, which give us creepy and negative connotations. Trust me, the closest I’ve ever come to being the “evil twin” was realizing Savannah used my toothpaste. Even then, I certainly was not ready to take over her life. I just made her give me $5 for a new tube.