I’m the best in just about every sport. To prove this, I’m on a quest to take on the top athletes at Hagerty, and, well, beat them. This is my journey to sports immortality. This is Ben Versus. Join me as I embarrass this school’s “top competition.”

I started with a sport that would be simple enough to master on the first try: golf. Honestly, how hard can golf be? I searched for one of Hagerty’s top golfers who would be willing to take on my challenge: junior Matt Licari.

I decided we should just play putt-putt, which I feel requires more skill, since it’s so precision based and the margin for error is smaller. Tell me with a straight face Tiger Woods wouldn’t struggle to get past the windmill hole. Go on, I’m waiting.

Since Licari has more experience, I had to give him a handicap: he had to putt everything with his left hand. There was no way I could lose this.

The first three holes only confirmed my belief of this, as I strutted into the fourth hole with a one-stroke lead. Things went downhill from there. At one point, I missed a one foot putt to go down eight strokes. I finished the front nine losing by seven; Licari had 30, I had 37. By the eleventh hole, Licari had a 10 stroke lead. Remember, lowest score in golf wins.

I was discouraged. How was Licari, who was putting with his left hand, winning? Surely it had nothing to do with his skill. This was luck. I began to suspect my ball might be heavier than his, since it didn’t roll as far. I had to step up my game.

By the fourteenth hole, he had his largest lead of the game with 13 strokes. I only needed to beat him by 14 strokes on the last four holes to win. I managed a comeback, but the final score was Licari, 60; me, 68.

I must have just been having an off day. He sure had a lot of lucky rolls. Plus, it started to drizzle near the end. I’m sure that had some effect on my overall performance. This whole thing was a fluke. I call shenanigans.

This wasn’t exactly the start I was expecting towards sports immortality. But whatever. This shouldn’t even count. Golf is barely even a sport anyways.

Record: 0-1