Charcasm: Pretty at Prom


photo by Bethany Barker

Charcasm is a reoccurring column where Online Editor Charlotte Mansur dishes out controversial opinions.

Strolling through the beach in a full face of makeup and an evening gown may get you a few weird looks, showing up to the grocery store with a new perm would be strange, and getting long acrylic nails for your church’s volunteer event would be met with some whispers from the youth group moms, but when it comes to prom, all of these things seem necessary. Prom season, or in this case Sammy’s season, is one of the few times where drastically changing your appearance is not only socially acceptable, but expected, and it can be scary. 

For example, girls across the nation flock to uncomfortable drafty booths to be sprayed with glorified paint, in hopes to resemble the color of a slightly bruised orange. Fake tans may not seem like an important element of beauty until you look like Casper the Friendly Ghost in your prom dress. Not to mention the crazy tan lines left over from spring break that you need to cover up. 

Spray tans are not the only form of fake tan available, however. True risk-takers dapple in self tanner, a lotion like substance that you spread all over yourself and hope to god it comes out even. If you don’t play your cards right you could turn into a splotchy mess. For those not in the mood for gambling, tanning booths almost guarantee the perfect tan, for the small price of potential skin cancer. These options may sound scary, but no one wants to risk a natural tan turning into Larry the Lobster before prom.

Prom also makes people get crazy with their hair. Teased, dyed, curled; the perfect hair is every girl’s dream. But choose your stylist wisely one wrong move and the perfectly styled updo from Pinterest could turn into something from your mom’s Good Housewife magazine. It is a toss-up when it comes to getting your hair done, you never know what you are going to get. The same goes for boys who can spend hours debating between hair gel or spray, and if they aren’t careful can end up with hairdos comparable to a 90s car salesman. 

Getting ready for prom can be painful, too. Plucking or threading eyebrows is common, and although it leads to a smooth, sculpted brow, it feels like being stabbed one thousand times right between your eyes. But even that pain comes nowhere near the torture that comes from getting waxed. Imagine pouring concrete on your skin and pulling it off faster than you can say Bob the Builder. Even if you are lucky enough to escape without any bleeding, the pain will haunt you forever. 

The process of getting ready for prom is daunting, but when it is all done, your pictures will last a lifetime, unless you end up looking like the villain in a Scooby-Doo movie. In that case, get rid of them by Monday.