Charcasm: Facebook


photo by Bethany Barker

Charcasm is a reoccurring column where Online Editor Charlotte Mansur, voices her opinions on unique topics.

The flashy headline on the newest post from your grandpa reads that the world is doomed and will end in 12 days. The only way to stop it is to subscribe to WeeklyDigest for a small fee of $10 per month. Add in a slew of baby photos and pleas for more Candy Crush lives, and it’s enough to deter you from checking Facebook ever again. There is a reason that high schoolers are not on Facebook, but that does not mean that we should disregard, especially since our parents are going wild on it.  

Facebook takes fake news to a whole new level. It is not always major media outlets you have to watch out for, it is your relatives and community members. If your great aunt’s high school sweetheart posts that he saw a bear by his trash can, the whole town is suddenly in a frenzy over what turned out to be the neighbor’s unsuspecting labradoodle. Harmless posts can turn into widespread scandals at the touch of a share button. I cannot even count the number of times someone has called me crying about the death of Betty White, after they saw it posted on Facebook. 

 The false information does not end at community gossip. Facebook is a cesspool of Buzzfeed crockpot recipes and B-list food bloggers convincing our parents that a barbecue chicken meatloaf wrapped in bacon is a good idea. Most of these video recipes do not actually taste very good, and are impossible to recreate as producers use shoe shine and Elmer’s glue to make the food look camera-ready. Meanwhile we are stuck forcing down a dry pot roast covered in an onion soup mix while faking a smile for our moms.

 Now that people can start their own groups and pages, the amount of deception has doubled. There are now more Hagerty Parent groups out there then there are bunco leagues. Pages like those and the Oviedo 32765 groups are filled with unoriginal narcissism in reposted information from the actual Hagerty and City of Oviedo Pages or making their own drama when they are bored with the rest. This creates arguments of ridiculous proportions between soccer moms and wannabe PTSA presidents alike. Of course, I follow all these groups just to hear the pissing contests of “ my kid said this,” or “ my neighbor who is friends with Mrs. Bryce said that.”

People  will attack each other on these groups based off of something as small as the car line. If you use the left lane to drop off instead of the right, you can be sure someone will be complaining about it on the Parents Discussing Things groups by lunch time. In the comment section, 30 other parents will criticize the decision and tag school board members to address your behavior. 

A lot of moms feel the need to monitor their children’s social media accounts to make sure the posts they create and interact with are appropriate, and I think at this point we need to return the favor. Do not turn a blind to your parents’ Facebook habits; for all you know they could be sharing a Betty White conspiracy theory as we speak.