Anyone familiar with Dracula lore and Bram Stoker’s famous novel probably expected Dracula Untold to be filled with a load of  historical inaccuracy to lend an ounce of plausibility to some overdone special effects. These people would not be disappointed.

Dracula is the feature film debut for director Gary Shore and chronicles Vlad the Impaler’s brutal fight against the Turkish ranks, starring Luke Evans as the infamous Count Dracula.

A primary motive for seeing this thing is Dominic Cooper, who plays the Turkish war-monger Mehmed. No matter how bad the dialogue or muddled the plot, Cooper would surely smooth things out. Sadly, Cooper sports a fake Turkish tan, a fake Turkish accent and hair so gelled that one might think the story is set on the Jersey Shore rather than the blood-stained lands of Transylvania.

However, the film somewhat redeemed itself in its portrayal of Vlad in bat form. As opposed to past films which depicted him as a single, pathetic bat on a string of fishing wire, Vlad barrels through his enemies as a monstrous swarm of blood-sucking terror.

As for the actual story, there is not much praise to give. Too many key plot points were predictable and the audience laughed at moments in the dialogue that were not meant to be comedic. It was that bad. The end hints at the possibility of a sequel, but the film probably will not survive long enough for a round two.

If you plan on seeing this sad film, wait for it to come out on DVD and try not to expect anything. Accept that the plot is a vehicle for vampy CGI effects and Luke Evans’ bare chest, and you might just sink your teeth into something mildly enjoyable.