After months of avoiding the paparazzi and dodging any personal questions, a major celebrity announces the big news: they’re pregnant! Their Instagram becomes flooded with ultrasound pictures and gender reveal clips almost instantly, encapsulating everyone’s attention. When the soon-to-be famous child is born, everyone has one thing on their mind: what’s their name? To the public’s dismay, the name is Gene Attell. Good job, Amy Schumer. 

Celebrities have a reputation for interesting child names, with highlights like Wolf, North, Apple and Dusty Rose. It seems as if these parents have no regard for their child’s future social life, practically inviting people to bully them. There are plenty of decent and socially acceptable names in the world, so why name a kid after a plant, body part or inanimate object? It’s more than likely that they do this for public attention, as pop culture fans go nuts when a weird name is announced, and rightfully so – the names are stupidly hilarious. However, the media rage only lasts for so long; names last forever. Nobody wants to write “Moon Unit” on a job application (especially if they want a shot at getting hired). But that’s not the only confusing thing about celebrity parents.

Ye West – who I could talk about for a lot of reasons – has been trying to gain more control of his daughter, North, following his split with Kim Kardashian. Prior to the breakup, he didn’t seem to have much of a relationship with her, but now is complaining about her use of TikTok – and publicly posting about it. On Instagram, he wrote, “Since this is my first divorce I need to know what I should do about my daughter being put on TikTok against my will?” The chances that he actually cares what North is doing on TikTok are incredibly small. Again, celebrity parents seem to use their children for publicity, and Ye makes headlines every day. It’s all fun and games until the headline reads “Ye West handcuffed outside of elementary school.” Good luck avoiding the childhood trauma, North.

Celebrity parents might name and raise their children in untraditional ways, but they aren’t going away anytime soon. YouTube’s favorite problematic creator, Trisha Paytas, recently announced that she is pregnant with her first child. Her comment sections were filled with surprised and worried fans, but at the end of the day, we can’t prevent her – or any celebrity – from having kids, no matter how awful their media presence or personality is. All we can do is congratulate them, hope for the best and laugh at their ridiculous name choices.